Wondering Why?

Why do Men stare at Women?

Why do Men stare at Women?

It’s quite an observable fact that men are more inclined than women to gauge beauty through a person’s outward appearance over one’s inner traits. While men’s first step in looking for a partner is too scan through a group of females and see who attracts them most, women on the other hand, are likely to ‘fall in, or grow to love someone rather that have it the ‘love at first sight, kind of way. Given that a man’s biological and psychological make up differs from most women, men falling for women at first sight is one of the most common attributes of men.

This is not to say that women don’t look at adorable and strikingly hot male species as much as males would, it is just that it is more socially accepted for women to be more refined and reserved when it comes to matters like this. While women are able to notice a guy’s appearance subtly, men often have a tendency to stare when they are attracted to a woman because society allows them to. Though it happens like second nature for men, a lot of women feel uncomfortable and often times, awkward nonetheless.

So why do men stare? This is basically instinctive behavior. If you thin it’s quite profane how guys tend to stare at you from head to foot, maybe you should take a step back and instead, just be flattered that a person of the opposite sex is attracted to you. If women tend to be more subtle, men are a little more aggressive in terms of showing their attraction to the other gender. This stems back to history when men hunt for pray and look for a possible mate making them rather visual creatures in gauging and deciding on a lot of things.

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  1. I like your point about the aggressiveness needed for hunting possibly being part of the reason behind why men are more likely to stare in an obvious way than women. I wonder if men are more likely to stare in general (not just at women) because they have more testosterone and higher likelihood of being more prone to aggressiveness. Also dominance seems to be a bigger deal amongst men than women. I suspect this has something to do with why men stare sometimes: to assert their dominance.

    • Most men have no power ..they are cowards…if they had power they would ask the person out and really go after her the way it should be– shut up.

      instead they go the “accessible” route. most of the men have a ton of baggage before they are 45 years old..you need to be aware of this also and stay away from it.

      thank god i have a boyfriend who wants me and has no baggage.

      • I’m a woman and I understand that men are going to look, i’m cool with that. But staring is a bit too much. I love my boyfriend dearly and i’ve seen numerous hot guys passing by. I may look at them, but I don’t stare. It’s more than just respect for my man, I don’t like coming off desperate to the opposite sex.

  2. Well, here it goes, as a guy who recently got married I have had a big problem shutting down this habit. I hate it. I have been looking at women this way for 30 years. I mean it really sucks! when you are a kid watching cartoons you see the wolf see the saloon girl and his eyes pop out and his tongue rolls out like a red carpet but when he see’s the large woman he runs straight through a wall and leaves his silhouette trying to escape. as boys growing up we are bombarded with images and the mystic of the woman’s form. this kind of brain washing sucks and is not fair because women try to emulate these sexual images so when ever you see something that resembles the image you have this incredible impulse to assess and evaluate. it’s not so much a feeling that you even want that person but just that novelty of seeing something that resembles the constant perfect images walking around in real life. women complain but then again, its hypocritical if you are in a relationship and you wear make up. are you really wearing for him? If you say yes I wear it for him, then why do you not wear it at home if you don’t plan on going out? it is just going to have an affect on other men who grew up trained to notice the tools of attraction. look I’m not defending nothing just explaining that a life time habit to be shut down automatically is unreasonable. The more you complain about it the more it becomes like forbidden fruit, like telling someone not to think of pink elephants and then it becomes hard not to think of them. I feel if a woman doesn’t want a man to look they should never go out of the house because the outside world is full of advertising women. if you saw a rare sports car driving on the street the kind you only see in magazines believe me, you will turn your head. Well imagine going outside and everywhere you look you got em driving all over the place. women should stop dressing provocatively and realize that its difficult for men to try to not look at women walking out side everywhere. Women are trying to compete in a contest of who can where the least amount of clothes and wear the biggest mask of makeup. Its annoying. Believe me I feel the most amount of peace when people wear clothes and don’t show off their bodies. I don’t go to strip clubs, they come to me. even girls who aren’t hot but naked would get attention. guys don’t walk around in underwear and super bodies so girls can’t relate and brag how they don’t look. Guys wear baggy clothes and are not used as much as women in sensual promotion in everything even hamburger commercials for crying out loud. Guys wear baggy pants and shirts and suits. even formal wear for women is provocative. can a man over come this? of course, but he will be going against his whole life time of training to look and ever growing world full of people trying to get your attention. so it will take time and effort. I love my wife and I am with her all the time. I try to not look and am trying. I would do more for her than any of your men would do for you, but its not without difficulty and she is worth every effort.

    I just want to make it clear that yes it is possible to stop looking. Our actions are just that, our actions. We are not robots that can not override our programming. I just want to say that it is like playing dodge ball every day each day. That is ridiculously annoying. And the women who complain must ask themselves if they themselves dress provocatively when they go outside when they are in a relationship because they contribute to this. I would imagine if I just dangled my penis out of my pants people who look regardless if they liked that sort of thing or not because it stands out. Now staring is up to the person. The more I try to stop this sort of eye candy impulse the more I realize how bizarre our society really is. No matter the temperature or occasion you will see women walking around wearing scantily clad apparel. Now ask yourself something, does it really matter if an article of clothing is denim or cotton shorts or not if it covers the same percentage of your flesh as a pair of underwear? Or if your clothes are so form fitting it looks like near body paint? If you ask me the drug dealer is just as much to blame as the drug addict. If you are at the beach are you not wearing intimate clothing? Are women not wearing bras designed as casual dress, come on people wake up. Women, as just as easily to blame as the culprits for this crime as the guys are guilty for looking. I see women in the office wearing form fitting skirts, form fitting black or grey dress pants where the buttocks are clearly defined and you want to be treated like equals And not sexual objects? You go to church, school, college, and it’s all the same thing. What a joke! Wear clothes people and cover your bodies, quit wearing make up like glamour models and watch how little guys notice or are no longer tempted to look. So to all the guys out there getting bashed for responding to the life time of Hippocratic brainwashing you have received, try to be respectful to your girls but realize they are not free of hypocrisy and blame for soliciting this response. To all the women out there Dress like a guy, and you will be treated like a guy. Dress like a guy and you will have no more whistles , double takes, heads turning, cat calls, Nada, zip, zilch, nothing, zero because truth be told women in there natural state dressed conservatively are not attractive. Maybe you can say beautiful or pretty or what ever, but not (ATTRACT-TIVE). They will not attract attention. If you dress like your in the bed room you get what you give.

    • You should wright a book on this. the same woman who cry for equality and talk about how men dont respect them are the same woman competing to get some stares and whistles. there is alot of sexual tension in the air. not to defend woman, but the current fashions push towards revealing more and more of a womans body. during the summer time, for example, it is rather difficult to find modest clothing. walking into almost every store, you look at skirts/shorts sitting on display that you cant even picture anyone actually wearing outside.
      women were more conservative in every country just 100 yrs ago. they were real, classy ladies, who were treated gentlemanly by men and respected. it was hard to imagine women/girls wearing things they wear today.

      the thing women should actually be sad over is not that their husbands might look at other woman, the saddest part is that everything that is feminine has been degraded. every several years, the fashion designers come out with more revealing provacative designs, they are told by society that they should think and act like men, “feminine” characsteristics like patience are not as valued as aggressive, dominant “masculine” characsteristics.
      I just hope, and I pray all woman will realize this, and in turn, do all they can to reduce the sexual energy constantly being charged and infused in the air. we are responsible for how our society is today.
      I can go on and on about this subject. Making it a big priority in life to attract people sexually to you leads to an empty life. being controlled by makeup/beauty industries, the fashion industry, all teaching smart “independant” woman that they need these things and making profit out of their low self esteem.
      As a woman, I like pretty things. I like fashion, and looking good, like all humans, men and woman.
      however, I feel uncomfortable when womans husbands become attracted to me. One, because I am not the shallow kind of person to gain happiness when a woman becomes uncomfortable around me and angry at her husband because of me, and I dnt want to cause any embarrassment for anyone.
      Two, because I want to be completly faithful to my husband, and be solely for him, I want him to know that I am solely for him, and that I am not for other men to look at as an object.

      I commend you, Chris for loving your wife so much, and I say I really cant blame you, because when someones breasts are popping out of their shirt in my peripheral vision or in my face.or I see bare legs and thighs of other women, I feel embarrassed as if I am seeing something private, but even I, as a completly straight woman, find my self glancing at those parts, then feeling embarrased…..so dont feel guilty for that, the next time you catch yourself looking, lower your gaze..its better to look down sometimes then to have your eyes fall over nearly naked people, it isnt good for the soul. just makes it more carnal and animalistic, and for women, it just makes them more competitive amongst each other.

      I am a muslim woman, and I dont care anymore about what people have to say about my religion, I respect myself and others, thats why I choose to cover myself. Because the world needs it. Our actions dont just affect us, they affect our society and the world.
      If you have daughters, have them understand what you said above.. I wish I knew this from an early age,about men, woman, the laws of attraction, the brainwashing being done to us, rather than having to learn it later.
      I see now the woman that is beautiful is not the one whose nose is held high and acts conceited, and has beautified herself with makeup and eyecatching clothing,
      the ones who glow with beauty are the ones who are covered, and lower their gaze.
      I love them for their small, but meaningful contribution to the world and I respect them for respecting others
      peace and blessings.

  3. there is a guy who stares and my butt and boobs all time..i thought he didn’t have girlfriend..found out he did..so whats he doing thinking of me in the sack while he’s with his girlfriend?

    its exciting for a bit..then when you find out he’s got someone its like you
    really are stupid aren’ t you..

    when they do that you also have to be careful..because they may have dont he nasty the night before and just feeling confident…be careful with those stares..it doesn’t always mean “i’m attracted to you”

    • I agree with all of the above aprt from one fact…………

      every human being has choices, and if you choose to make the person your with feel so low by gawping at other females you are choosing your destiny, there are many times your apart this can go on without a woman having to be subjected to it.

      the times have gone when we stood back and took this type of behavior because you were the provider…

      Now you are never the provider, I as a woman with a better mind/job have always earned more than my partners, invested it in our homes and us, but refuse to juggle thier adolescent ways in front of my very eyes,

      I do not blame the women dressing that way, or like you said I would have to blame myself for dressing prevotically ( which I do more for my partner to get a kick of being seen out with me than anything else, single Im a jeans and T shirt girl)

      Its quite simple guys- leave your oggling to nights out with your mates if you love the woman you have been damn lucky to land- she doesn’t need that thrown in her face, it disrespects her you when you do it and makes her quite honestly dislike you intensley, sure she knows you do it, but also knows there is a mental fantasy line hopefully you wont cross and cheat the rest is down to you, but she doesnt need it thrown in her face while you ponder.

    • yep its fun for awhile until you find out he’s got a wife and 5 kids..then its a turn off…

  4. when they do that you also have to be careful..because they may have done the nasty the night before and just feeling confident…be careful with those stares..it doesn’t always mean “i’m attracted to you”

    • i agree they may have had bimbo night..and they think they can rule the world for an hour or so? … don’t misunderstand ladies…

  5. i agree with the above..you may be feeling he’s attracted to you but in reality he’s saying i just want to look at your butt.

    unless he starts talking to you and want to be around you, if you start talking and he doesn’t respond well it usually means he’s got someone or just wants to start at your butt and that’s it.

    make sure you understand that butt & boob stare.

  6. i agree..be careful of these men…alot are married, your looking for a boyfriend..he’s going home to play with his wife and kids and your wondering what’s wrong with yourself..

    if he doesn’t speak or begin to give you the right verbal signals –then drop this chump..the BUM is in disney world with his family and your emotions are hurt trying to figure out why he’s staring at your butt all the time but won’t talk to you..or won’t respond when you say hi to him

    its a mistake alot of women make. i’m married but i watch out for my single girlfriends because these guys KEEP THE NICE GIRLS WAITING ALL THE THE TIME. I’M SIGNING OFF NOW…YOU MEN ARE DISGUSTING. THANK GOD I MARRIED A GREAT GUY

    • yep the butt stare loses excitement as soon as you hear about his problems that are 10 miles long yet can still hold a nasty attitude even
      with all his drama wife, divorce, 6 kids, payments.

      does a serious career driven single woman want this after a days work i dont’ think so…get somebody who thinks of only your butt, not the x wife, divorce, 6 kids, payment butts….LOLOL

  7. i agree with Don’t Misunderstand..i am also married(thank goodness) to a great guy for 6 years…i also have a couple of girlfriends who struggle with these bums…..I just tell them — if he’s not talking…then say goodbye..in my day if i saw a man staring at my butt and he was not moving his butt to ask me out that was it-i didn’t even acknowledge the person anymore because its all a wasted time. he’s shy he’s this and he’s that..all bologna.

    if he wants you then he’ll open his mouth..otherwise do not say word to this so- called MAN.

    years ago when men looked at you and your butt it mean’t he wanted you today it means nothing…so wake up and be with someone who wants you.

  8. I am sorry but you people are insane! I am a woman and I look at people. I have also noticed that other people, men and women look at me. Yes some of the men stare but so what. I have no intentions of going home with him and guess what, he has no intentions of going home with me. Humans use staring as a form of gauging people. It isn’t all sexual and if it is so what. Just because you have found a person to love that doesn’t mean that you own every part of that person. Their inner most thoughts are their own so stop trying to control your partner by telling them what they can and can’t think about. It is bloody scary to know that such closed minded insecure people like you still exisit.

  9. I am so sick of this BS that
    “Women wear revealing clothing now and that’s why men stare.”
    “Women were classier before.”

    There are people on this Earth that are just good people ; more to them just being male or female.
    There are people on this Earth who are not fighting some constant sexual urge, male or female.

    When women were supposedly more demure, men were very domineering in their sexual comments and assessments of the women’s looks.
    The people who are supposedly ‘brain washing’ the males are OTHER MALES.
    It’s just a form of dehumanization through objectification. It’s in the same category with the burly jocks picking on the scrawny or socially awkward boys in school ( and in work, for that matter).

    Women got sick of trying to dress for men in any way- including to avoid sexual assault because they accepted the fact: No matter what a woman wears, men (or women) will find some way to sexualize her. And the aggressors (yes, more the males in American and some other societies like Russia and Greece and the Middle East) men will pretend it’s complimentary, natural and some sort of higher design out of their control. Men have been blaming their actions on others for centuries and women have become sick of the most recent incarnations of that in this century.
    Paradigms are shifting. That’s all.

    When men and women are truly equal, men won’t get all gooey eyed over complete strangers on the street and women may finally feel truly listened to. Then maybe women will start being more assertive as a whole (as opposed to being assertive and treated like they’re ‘too masculine’ or ‘aggressive’ when being straight-forward in general or sexually free).

    Men walk around shirtless in the summers, on basketball courts.
    Well tailored work slacks show off men’s behinds.
    Well tailored shirts showcase men’s broader shoulders and upper body muscles, especially on the back.
    Wrist watched show case men’s muscular ,thicker wrists.
    The preference for short hair on males showcases the squareness of their jaws.
    During gym classes in school and at professional gyms men wear potentially very revealing sweat pants and short/loose shorts.

    Women may notice these things but do not, majorially, ogle or whistle or make a constant objectification of it in men.Women as a whole generally do not try to make a random man passing on the street feel like sh*t just because there is a billboard of a completely separate naked man or a magazine with a half-naked man on the cover. Women don’t make all of men ‘pay’ for advertisements and photographs of other sexualized men.
    Women react to the behavior of individual men which the men themselves may choose to base on cliches and advertisements and ‘brain washing’.

    So, sorry, ‘Dude’s but : Brainwashing only works while you’ve got your brain shoved under the stream .
    Maybe you need o get your heads out and accept that women are just men with inverted penises.
    Do a vast array of readings by both genders, by professionals,and without twisting the information in your heads to suit what you want to read or believe.
    If you want to escape brain washing or to truly stop being frustrated by women, to understand them:
    Try thinking the opposite for a change, even if it seems non-sensical or threatening to your sexuality or gender identity.
    For instance :
    “Her bra strap is showing. I should NOT be looking at that. It is NOT normal for me to be staring at her bra strap.”
    Just try it for one week, in your own head.
    The try doing some web searches from that perspective and see if you can find women’s forums where they talk about how they feel when men stare at their bra straps .
    Try to see how many forums comparatively to men’s you find of women writing dirty,mean sexual things about men.
    If it’s all natural selection and the survival of the species, maybe men need to accept that: if extinction of polar bears is just ‘natural’ as part of evolution or G*d’s will, that the human animal’s prowess means we won’t go extinct, then maybe it’s not that “men sexualizing and pursuing women is natural” but that “men pursuing and objecting women needs to evolve or become extinct for the progress of the species”

    Do some reading of brain and sexual development in fetuses .We are not a whole different nor a lesser species. Do some reading of other cultures and history- of matriarchal societies, of countries where women go bra-less all the time and naked all summer. Do some research on these men you envy for ‘having’ the ‘hot’ women and you may slowly find that it is love or mutual respect not ‘money’ or ‘dominance’ that ‘wins’ and maybe, hopefully, you’ll find it’s not about ‘winning’ or ‘denial’ of anything at all, that women AS A WHOLE are not ‘competing’ . If one type of woman is competitive, she does not speak for ‘women’ only herself, the same as with men. Not all men are ‘pigs’ and not all women are ‘princesses’ or ‘sluts’ ( and when are you going to stop pretending those are the only two choices?)

    I have been stared at and propositioned by men and young men and boys my whole Life and I have a flat chest, short hair, no makeup, I live in jeans and tee shirts which are usually baggy,when they are not baggy, they are not form fitting.
    I have had and continue to have men and boys approach me in all ways that a woman could complain about.If you’ve had a girlfriend or sister harassed in some way by a man or woman, I have had that same thing happen to myself. It is not complimentary and in fact, it is sick that I am sometimes accused of bragging about it when I try to discuss it with people.

    • In response to Jane.

      I know a lot of guys stare at women trying to engage them in some mental sexual place. I know there are guys who do this because they know they will not get any further with that person so they instead steal from them a virtual trespassing despite the fact that it is rude, and may cause discomfort for the one being stared at. They do this fully aware that the woman sees them and knows they are looking.

      I want to make myself clear that I am not defending this sort of action nor have I EVER done it or hang out with those who do.

      I am merely explaining that this culture in America allows women to dress provocatively or modestly. When men harass women who dress modestly, that’s simply because they are jerks. Not all guys do this and I certainly don’t

      However, when a women chooses to dress provocatively, I in fact notice.
      I find because I am heterosexual that if the woman is attractively displayed, I enjoy the visual image. I am not suggesting I have an episode of heavy breathing and start sweating while touching myself inappropriately.

      I prefer if women would dress more modestly and not wear glamour make up because I find when they do there is less distraction, or impulse to appraise the provocative presentation. I am only speaking on behalf of men who do not shout at girls, and simple find themselves tempted to look at women who bait themselves to the legal limits in which they are allowed.

      I promise you I would not even notice you or any woman passing by unless they are presenting themselves in public. My wife has an excellent body. I don’t like when she dresses provocative but when she does I don’t discourage her because she is free to do as she pleases in that regard.
      She disagreed with me at one time before about defending my position on guys looking at women. Until one day she wore tight cloth leggings and a guy in a mall took a snap shot with his cell phone camera of her butt. She felt bad because she felt that the man stole something from her but she realized that while you are in PUBLIC, you have no right to privacy and legally anyone can take your picture. From that time on she realized that had she not worn something that showed her butt, that the man who took her picture would not have had been available to possess anything that was private of her in the first place.
      So my point being is this. Keep what’s private in private and what is appropriate for public in public. That way you will not feel so offended by those looking at the areas partially revealed. That’s just common sense. I can’t wear a thong outside and feel bad when people look at me. Do I expect them to respect my privacy when I am the one entering communal public domain? If you show your butt guys are going to look and appraise it. Wear clothes that cover everything and no one will turn a head except for the jerks that will do that regardless of what you do.
      To those guys who are able to accommodate women who want to walk around naked by pretending they are not, more power to you, wish I was one of you and I pray every day someday I may be, but until then wear clothes in public people.

  10. In response to Jane

    I just want to make it clear that yes it is possible to stop looking. Our actions are just that, our actions. We are not robots that cannot override our programming. But I will say that it is like playing dodge ball every day, each day.
    That is ridiculously annoying. And the women who complain must ask themselves if they themselves dress provocatively when they go outside when they are in a relationship because they contribute to this.
    I would imagine if I just dangled my penis out of my pants people who look regardless if they liked that sort of thing or not because it stands out. Now staring is up to the person. The more I try to stop this sort of eye candy impulse the more I realize how bizarre our society really is. No matter the temperature or occasion you will see women walking around wearing scantily clad apparel.
    Now ask yourself something, does it really matter if an article of clothing is denim or cotton shorts or not if it covers the same percentage of your flesh as a pair of underwear? Or if your clothes are so form fitting it looks like near body paint?
    If you ask me the drug dealer is just as much to blame as the drug addict. If you are at the beach are you not wearing intimate clothing? Are women not wearing bras designed as casual dress, come on people wake up
    . Women, are just as easily to blame as the culprits for this crime as the guys are guilty for looking. I see women in the office wearing form fitting skirts, form fitting black or grey dress pants where the buttocks are clearly defined and you want to be treated like equals And not sexual objects?
    You go to church, school, college, and it’s all the same thing. What a joke! Wear clothes people and cover your bodies, quit wearing make up like glamour models and watch how little guys notice or are no longer tempted to look.
    So to all the guys out there getting bashed for responding to the life time of Hippocratic brainwashing you have received, try to be respectful to your girls but realize they are not free of hypocrisy and blame for soliciting this response.
    To all the women out there, Dress like a guy, and you will be treated equal like a guy. Dress like a guy (it works for Hilary Clinton) and you will have no more whistles , double takes, heads turning, cat calls, Nada, zip, zilch, nothing, zero because truth be told women in their natural state dressed conservatively are not attractive. Maybe you can say they are beautiful or pretty or whatever, but not (ATTRACT-TIVE). Meaning they will not attract or solicit attention. But If you dress like you’re in the bed room you get what you give.
    I know that a lot of guys stare at women trying to engage them in some mental sexual place. I know there are guys who do this because they know they will not get any further with that person so they instead steal from them a metal rape, despite the fact that it is rude, and may cause discomfort for the one being stared at. They do this fully aware that the woman sees them and knows they are looking.
    I want to make myself clear that I am not defending this sort of action nor have I EVER done it or hung out with those who do.
    I am merely explaining that this culture in America allows women to dress provocatively or modestly. When men harass women who dress modestly, that’s simply because they are jerks. Not all guys do this and I certainly don’t
    However, when a woman chooses to dress provocatively, I in fact notice them in passing. I find because I am heterosexual male, that if the woman is attractively displayed, I enjoy the visual image. I am not saying that I have a sweaty episode of heavy breathing while touching myself inappropriately. Just saying a variety of beauty is pleasant to appraise and admire.
    I prefer if women would dress more modestly and not wear glamour make up because I find when they do there is less distraction, or impulse to appraise the provocative presentation. I am only speaking on behalf of men who do not shout at girls, and simply find themselves tempted to look at women who bait themselves to the legal limits in which they are allowed.
    I promise you I would not even notice you or any woman passing by unless they are presenting themselves in public. My wife has an excellent body. I don’t like when she dresses provocative but when she does I don’t discourage her because she is free to do as she pleases in that regard.

    She used to disagree with me about defending my position on guys looking at women. Until one day she wore tight cloth leggings and a guy in a mall took a snap shot with his cell phone camera of her butt. She felt bad because she felt like the man stole something from her but she realized that while you are in PUBLIC, you have no right to privacy and legally anyone can take your picture.
    From that time on she realized that had she not worn something that showed her butt, that the man who took her picture would not have had been available to possess anything that was private of her in the first place.

    So my point being is this. Keep what’s private in private and what is appropriate for public in public. That way you will not feel so offended by those looking at the areas partially revealed. That’s just common sense.
    I can’t wear a thong outside and feel bad when people look at me. Do I expect them to respect my privacy when I am the one entering communal public domain?
    If you show your butt guys are going to look and appraise it. Wear clothes that cover everything and no one will turn a head except for the jerks that will do that regardless of what you do.

    To those guys who are able to accommodate women who want to walk around naked by pretending they are not, more power to you, wish I was one of you and I pray every day someday I may be, but until then wear clothes in public people.

  11. Ok, we men get it…..Men are pigs,

    we only have one thing on our minds, we are disgusting, and men only want sex….. blah, blah, blah.

    I’m sure you have by now heard men try to defend themselves by poorly using scientific evolutionary theory but to no avail because women simply see men as trying to excuse their behavior.

    And women should be upset, since this is a chemical response that causes this reaction.

    Women go through a range of emotions, feeling threatened by other women,

    Jealous of the other woman, who won her man’s attention,
    Embarrassment for the social violation in an environment of civil expectations of propriety,

    Guilt for possibly not maintaining their physique over the years,

    Insulted by the offensive act,

    Disgust because she feels she is with a man of base character,

    Anger because their man violated a unremunerated right in the relationship,

    And lastly betrayal of the sexually related feelings expressed towards another when they were assumed to be completely exclusive physically and mentally.

    All these feeling hit a woman like a truck. She cannot control them because the chemical hormones in her body trigger and involuntarily make her feel the chemical reaction taking place within her.

    Men can try as they might to explain their defense but it is no use because she will always feel this way. She is a victim to the chemicals creating her emotions.

    She may hide it, or pretend not to be upset but inside she is feeling all these things.

    Threatened,

    Embarrassed,

    Guilt,

    Insulted,

    Disgusted,

    Anger,

    Betrayal,

    And Mistrust.

    Well, now I am going to explain to women without using theory but just simple fact why men are pigs.

    Are you ready for it?

    Ok here it is…….

    Ladies,

    Men are disgusting pigs because………wait for it…………. Men,
    are meant to be MEN.

    That’s it.

    There is your ground breaking revelation.

    There is the answer to why men continue to look at other women and to seemingly only have interest in sex.

    Was that not what you were expecting?

    Well ok, allow me a moment to be a little clearer when I say “men are men.”

    How about this,

    If you were a man,

    You too would be the same disgusting pig as the rest of us.

    Women often can be heard complaining how men cannot understand how it is to be a woman….well that goes both ways ladies.

    Men are men and women will never know what it is like to be in the body of a man.

    Something women should understand that both men and women share is how hormones can affect our behavior.

    Well, let me tell you about a little old chemical called testosterone.

    Testosterone is a friend to some and an enemy to others and ironically, a friend and enemy to the same people.
    The difference between men and women is the sexual
    hormones that develop us into what we are.

    Both men and women have a combination of estrogen and testosterone. Men would actually be woman if not for the release of these chemicals that transform our ovaries into testicles.

    So if anything we men are you women but changed because of chemical culprits. Women are the default gender.

    Sex drive is dependent on testosterone levels but only in the presence of an estrogen balance.

    Each day women produce UP to 1miligram of testosterone.

    So what? You say…well

    Levels of testosterone influence human behavior because neurons are sensitive to steroid hormones.

    Testosterone levels are used in the regulation of human libido. Testosterone is capable of altering the structure of the brain.

    Today, Testosterone can now be used as an experimental treatment to raise a woman’s sexual interest, arousal, and satisfaction.

    In women, testosterone has a direct effect on sex drive and sexual response. Women taking testosterone have more sexual thoughts, fantasies, activity, masturbation activity and sexual satisfaction.

    Rightly or not, women are often seen as being under the influence of their menstrual hormones.

    As a result, they are said to be subject to hormonal “tides” or hormonal “storms.”

    Well women during their Sexual horny time of the month experience and increase of testosterone.

    So at this point you need to agree with the fact that, you women can understand that it’s difficult to control your behavior when all these influx of chemicals are altering your otherwise normal self. Mood swings, happy, sad, horny whatever.

    When females have a higher baseline level of testosterone, they have higher increases in sexual arousal levels. The level of testosterone also changes Sexual thoughts.

    So if YOUR behavior is understandably tolerated during these times of the month, imagine having libido chemicals slamming your brain and body constantly on a daily basis far greater than what you women have to deal with.

    Women talk about being able to have more self-control than men sexually but what women forget to mention is,
    Women are “only controlling a fraction of what chemical testosterone that men are expected to control”.

    In 24 hours the “average” man produces 7 milligrams as oppose to a woman’s “UP to” 1 milligram in 24 hour range.

    Once again, I point out that men ARE women except for the chemicals that change us. We are what women would be if they were also bombarded with the chemicals components in the Y sex chromosome.

    So what exactly are women bragging about when they say they “Refrain but guys don’t?”

    “Women refrain their 1 milligram but get angry when guys struggle with their 7 milligrams of testosterone?”

    Not to mention the fact that women take advantage of this sex obsession men have by baiting men’s attention by pressing the legal limits of wearing the least amount of clothing possible.

    Men wear shorts at the beach, but women wear thonged panties and bras called “swimwear”

    Yes, camel toe and butt cheeks in public view but men are the perverts for looking. We are beating back 7 milligrams of I want to F^#k now chemicals with near naked bodies bouncing around pretending they don’t know or try to solicit male attention…..yeah, that’s fair….sigh.

    As a man trying to keep the brain altering chemical bursts of sex drive at bay is one thing, but to also have women shamelessly hiding their real faces behind glamour model makeup and wearing form fitting, scantly clade or simply provocative dress designed as casual wear on top of it is….well… ridiculously stupid.

    Yet women tell us that we should be magically changed with movie magic love once we enter a relationship despite our biological -hormonally chemically- induced- 7 times their sexual drive make up.

    Women are reported to masturbate maybe once every week, but with men it’s a daily basis, multiple times a day, As teenage boys 4 times or more, it all just depends on the drive. Now that’s just what guys admit to, more honest have said they have done 10 or more a day.

    So, if men are this more active, and throughout history have had this bad wrap of being perverts, shouldn’t we ask ourselves why they are this way? Or should we simply conclude its because they are bad people and should be punished?

    Is it a coincidence almost all men seem the same all over the world and all through time? Or maybe….IT’S BECAUSE MEN ARE NOT WOMEN!!!!

    Women can’t boast about control unless they are somehow trapped in men’s bodies battling the same chemical condition men are.

    But just as chemicals will make you hungry and think of food, your mind and thoughts cannot be compared to another person because all of our bodies are different. Man to man and woman to woman.

    Unless you walk the shoes of that particular individual’s body, how can we know what they battle with?

    And although we tell our women it’s not a personal thing or a betrayal of love, we are in the dog house time and time again for this chemical impulse causing us to simply notice and being visually impressed by other women in passing

    So there is the “why”, men look.
    They are influenced by strong chemicals because nature doesn’t recognize the exclusive civilized exclusive relationship he has made with his woman, by altering his sexual attention once he’s committed.

    So the impulse is still Very strong. It is not a habit, but a chemical behavior.

    A man is constantly at battle with his primal design to mate the world with his genetic code.

    The simple cure for this constant looki
    ng behavior would be to take drugs to reduce the sexual drive in a man. (Like women do with birth control altering the estrogen balance that functions the testosterone and reducing libido) However the reduced sexual appetite would also make the man not only less sexually interested in woman but also the woman he loves.

    Love doesn’t make penises rise and women don’t need to keep their equipment erect by fueling it with constant sexual thoughts like a man does.

    Women just need to show up for the occasion but a guy has to be aroused to perform the act and all the pressure is on him.

    So you can’t really keep your cake and eat it too.

    Now that I have properly explained the real science behind men’s visual fixation as oppose to the simple “men are supposed to rape everything in sight evolution” argument.

    I want to make it clear that, simply because we as men have a stronger impulse to succumb to our passions does not mean we are justified to do so. A man is not entitled to cheat or lustfully creep-stare-down a woman to the point of visually impregnating her.

    Men are no more entitled to that behavior than they are to punching or beating people because we are chemically induced with emotional anger when upset.

    All I am pointing out is women who compare their ability to refrain from behaving like men is ridiculous because they are not accomplishing this while occupying a man’s body and having to deal with women soliciting their attention.

    Men are interested in aggressive action, hearty food, crude humor and the perfect female form. Anything relating to those four things is what it is to be male. Things Related to these topics usually ends up being sports, fighting, sex, meat, cars, mean jokes and guns.

    Of course there are men who have more interests and are not so two dimensional but the basic interest men share tend to be these. Now in regards to women and the men who look at them.

    There are three kinds of ways men look at the presentation of a beautiful woman.

    1 The look of appraising Admiration
    2 The look of Lust.
    3 The look of Flirtation

    When a man looks at a woman with appraising admiration it’s when a man looks at a woman of beauty much the same way as when a woman sees an attractive woman, but from a different perspective. It’s a critical assessment of the figure.

    It’s a scanning for imperfection and when none is found, simple admiration follows. Much like a jeweler appraises a diamond. It is a pleasure to view an object of attractive qualities such as a new sports car or astonishing spectacle.

    At this point there is no sexual attachment to the action and may appear to onlookers that the man staring is gawking. This type of fixation is not with every woman who passes because once imperfections are found the man takes his attention elsewhere. To deny this kind of looking is impossible, EVERYONE does it, men, women, old, young, EVERYONE.

    The question is why does it seem that men look more? Is there an equal amount of men worthy of attention as there are women? Are men showcasing themselves to the same level as women? Are men constantly watching the eyes of their women or are they too distracted by the woman casually flaunting themselves?

    The second way a man looks at a woman is a lustful look whereby the man hosts various mental articulations of sexual acts or feels emotional desire and or a yearning to engage in sex. This type of look is done by Indulging in carnal fantasy of penetrating, groping and undressing the object in view.

    This kind of look is the kind that is done when pornographic material is being viewed and most likely arouses the man. Some men may do this privately until noticed while others do it regardless if the subject discovers the onlooker.

    This type of look is often termed “eye fu%king”. It is the bitters man attempt to psychologically disturb the subject as a consolation to the likelihood nothing more will come out of the encounter.

    The third way a man looks at a woman is flirtation. The man stares until he meets the eyes of the woman and engages in a private world of acknowledgement.

    This is more for the thrill. It’s the rush of adrenaline for the underdog being noticed by an attractive woman and also could signify his interest in pursuit of something further. This look is done with engaging the subject’s eyes and not the body.

    Appraising objects of beauty is not nor should not be threatening in a relationship. A man could do it with the same gender, a really nice car or anything worthy of attention since it is not a sexual act.

    And if a man is easily impressed with the appearance of others, a simple solution to his looking problem is to wear sun glasses.

    This way he will not be mistaken for lusting at all the women who dress provocative and solicit attention. And his significant other will no longer try to chaperone his sight from her perceived dangers of the world.

    There is an obligation to maintain discretion with a man’s eyes because the man’s company may feel embarrassed by the man’s fixations or the subject of attention may feel uncomfortable if they are not soliciting attention.

    While it can be argued that to admire the beauty of a person’s body is simply the appreciation of rare accomplishment resulting from the dedication one commits to working out, Staring at people, or people’s things without discretion is simply rude.

    So once again wear sunglasses so that your perception, like your thoughts will be private and noninvasive in public.

    However the look of lust is a completely different scenario which can be controlled with practice because it is not an automatic reaction to the presentation of an attention worthy subject but rather it is the initiated, deliberate and willful indulgence of a mental rape.

    This kind of mental foreplay often accompanies masturbation in order to maintain fuel for the fire and even can corrupt a man’s thoughts during intimacy while the man is with his significant other if he finds his erection fading.

    This type of looking should be discouraged. It’s addictive, sinful and very progressive, to the point of obsession. While science can argue that men may be drawn to certain biological elements in the women’s child bearing form, science does not justify the elected carnal practices of raping someone visually.

    The look of flirtation is the most dangerous, since it seeks thrills from others, not as a simple admirer or even as bad as a voyeur but more so as one interested in interaction with the subject of attraction.

    This is a betrayal at the most conscious level. As far as infidelity, Flirtation is not one step away from the next level; it’s a step of the next level.

    So with everything being said, I would like to clarify and review a few points. All Looking is not all the same thing. Men are not women and women will never be men.

    I will not pretend I can understand a woman or what she is thinking because although we share humanity we are on opposite sides of the sexual spectrum. You may ask yourself, why does my man look at other women if he loves me?

    • The answer is, because love is not in conflict with the desire to view something worthy of attention.

    • Secondly, your man loves you because there is only one you, one soul and that cannot be replaced with anyone else in the world.

    • Third a body IS in fact a piece of meat. It is not who you are, but only the shell you reside in. A man does not marry a body, a man marries a soul. A body can gain in physical appeal or lose it depending on the actions of the operator and simple aging.

    • Men rate women on personality and beauty; but men are rated primarily on personality and financial status. A woman can love a man and hate his poor house, just as a man can love a woman and hate her poor body. The body is only a material item which is not the substance or integrity of the relationship, so one should not feel threatened or feel subjugated to comparison like a used car traded for a new one when a woman of attractive appeal walks by. Your man is not with you because he thinks you are the most attractive woman he can have (or has had) He is with you because there is only one you. The way you look is the physical association he has with your personality and so is attached to you and all that reminds him of you. There are trillions of women that he may find more attractive then you are accessible to him, yet he will not stray away because that is once again not the reason he is with you. Now if women walked about wearing their souls and men looked at them that would be a different story and reasonable cause for doubt and insecurity because a person’s soul should not interest them more than yours, but a body could be more impressive than yours because of the work invested in it. I feel no threat if and when an attractive man is present because I know my wife is not with me for my appearance. What I possess is not in competition. Who I am is my most valuable possession and I am the only one who has that.

    • In truth staring at everything that walks around but the person you are with is annoying and disrespectful because a woman (or any company for that matter) should have the majority of your attention while you are with them.

    • However feeling bad about other women and chastising men for looking at them passing by is extreme and controlling. Admiration of another person’s beauty does not trespass on your imaginary territory over your man’s free will. When a man marries a woman or gets in a
    relationship, he agrees to not to not see any other women, but he doesn’t mean that literally. lol

    • In most cases although not all, some women may feel guilt because they have not done their homework as far as the upkeep or even the betterment of their own physique and their guilt transitions into anger towards their men for making them feel inadequate in that area.

    • A woman’s body will constantly change and always provide something new and different for her man when she works out or has kids. Most of these transitions and changes provide something pleasurable to the man unless it is total neglect. After a woman has a baby, the man enjoys thicker thighs bigger butt, larger breasts, and before she has her child, the man has the youthful tightness and sleekness of her body.

    Apples and oranges. When a woman works out she never reaches the best of what she can be just as a man never does. There is always the ability to invest and adjust. However the unwillingness to do so may subjugate your man to a prison of all he will ever have in a sexy body is what you decide you will invest, which may not be the most promising concept. But once again remind yourself that he is not with you for your body but your soul

    • Lastly remember that we as individuals contribute to the whole of society. You know what I mean…make a difference by changing the man in the mirror sorta stuff. My point being is, if you in your hay day wore provocative clothing while you were single, I’m sure when you dressed this way you were quite aware of what the effects it had on men both married and single.

    That being said, thinks about all the women who suffered as a result of you baiting their attention. Wearing glamour make up, showing skin and form fitting clothing, is the reason men look.

    If all men worked out and dressed in chip in dale biker volley ball shorts, hiding imperfections with tons of makeup and casually strolling by indifferent pretending they are not passive aggressive exhibitionists, women would also look. Women look now and men don’t nearly bait attention to the degree that women do.

    Point being is karma is a bitch and you get what you give, so be understanding.

    To all the men, our wives, girlfriends, mothers, sisters, daughters, make this world worth living. They are God’s gift to us. Try your best to not look at women. You may surly fail from time to time, to time to time but remember each time you avoid looking is a time you spare the person you love from feeling terrible and unloved, unwanted and like nothing. We know women will not control their crazy hormone psycho-ness because they have the hormone excuse. Ours don’t count because men are men lol so suck it up guys, we know we are justified to a point but we must be Men and protect our women, even from ourselves.

    Chrisflaker@live.com

    • Chris,

      Beautifully written. I will print this out and read it whenever I feel disappointed after my sweetheart looks at other women in front of me. I am heartbroken as to why we are built this way but my goal is to learn and grow. I pray that we can overcome this sad and uncomfortable stage in our relationship.

      Sincerely,
      Jasmine

  12. Chris,

    For all your writing and the brilliance from which you speak…few women will ever make it through till the end. Nevertheless, I commend you, brother….well spoken indeed!

    “A fellow pig”

    David

  13. in response to chris:

    1) i am impressed the way you have explained everything . generally man do not open up very easily .

    2) i pitty those men who can only stare and can’t do anything more . LOL .. sometimes i wonder does their testerone level decreases only by STARING! :D

    3) why do men then rape even girls who are wholly covered with clothes from top to toe ? girls showing off their bodies might get some guys attracted but what about those who are covered? !!!

  14. Best to email me in regarding questions chrisflaker@live.com

    Rape is driven for multiple reasons but the typical situation with a stranger who rapes a woman is not usually driven by lust because she is wearing a sexy outfit but the desire to demoralize the woman. The rapist feels intimidated by women because they may be attractive and the man feels low because he cannot possess her, or he hates women because he hates the shameful feeling they stir in him and so he blames them when he fails to control his attraction to them. In any case this lowly feeling of intimidation angers the rapist making him want to attack women using his penis like a weapon.

    It belittles the woman and degrades her. It makes her feel humiliated, shamed, broken, robbed, cheated, devalued, worthless, powerless, it is a death of her soul spiritually emotionally, mentally and physically battered.
    All this occurs with the woman while the rapist feels empowered by lowering her. He feels avenged for his intimidation; he feels a high from conquering and utterly destroying another person’s self-esteem. He feels in control. In nature when breeding strong male bulls, the breeder will introduce a weaker male (bull) instead of a female (cow) and will attach an artificial vagina on the weaker male bull to collect the semen from cloning. The stronger bull gets aroused at the prospect of domination and attempts to rape the weaker male bull.

    In prison this is also observed with men who normally do not have sexual relations with other men outside the prison. Men sodomize (male on male rape rectally) other men to show command or feel an elevation of power. So this form of rape occurs regardless if the woman is attractive, old, young, clothed ect… because of the desire to empower themselves at the expense of destroying another.

    Rape dealing with lust driven motives are usually date rape, where a man who is already sexually aroused with foreplay refuses to stop when the female partner changes her mind or does not wish to have actually sex. There are cases of strangers who rape that are lust driven but tend to be isolated to individuals who are already sexual predators (men with sexually depraved criminal psychological disorders) and not normal men.

    A man who is not a rapist is not driven to rape simply because a woman is dressed provocatively. However you know the saying, there are plenty of fish in the sea and one way to catch one is to have eye bait to catch a man, but the problem with that is there are sharks among the fish and bringing unnecessary attention, In other words you drawn in the good with the bad.

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